Lessons From Twilight And Buffy

My response to this meme.

Edward: I will stalk you, manipulate you, physically abuse you, treat you like an incompetent child and contemplate killing you regularly.

Bella: That’s okay. I will just internalise your abuse as my fault and sink into a terrible depression at how terrible my life is, even though lots of people like me and my life’s not that much of a stress at all… apart from the self induced drama over you.

Angel:  I will stalk you, manipulate you, physically abuse you, treat you like an incompetent child, attempt to kill you, kill and torture your friends, cause you incredible angst over our ongoing relationship and finally leave you in the most patronising way possible, turning up every once in a while to patronise you some more, including erasing your memory against your wishes. But it’s not my fault. The soul I’m cursed with, that’s the only thing keeping me good, went away when I took your virginity! Okay, so loads of this happened when I had a soul, but still… Here let me rush in patronisingly to save you from that bad guy who’s nothing more special than the bad guys you routinely face most days without me…

Buffy: That’s okay. I will just internalise your abuse as the ultimate romantic ideal and the behaviour of the curse as my fault, let it ruin all my future relationships and tangle your leaving me like that up with my pre-existing abandonment issues from my father. But hey, musn’t whine, I am special (although some days I wish I wasn’t) and I’ve got a job to do. I can die inside (and literally too) and still this kick this bad guy from here to next Tuesday.

Spike: I used to stalk you, attempt to manipulate you, physically abuse you and contemplate killing you regularly. But gradually I started listening to and being influenced by you and discovered that I could be a better man than that. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done and I went out to win back my soul to make sure it never happens again. I know you can take that wanker down on your own, but I’m right here if you need me. I’ve got your back.

Buffy: Yeah, I got this one. Sorry for taking my post-death depression out on you to the point of beating you to a pulp and using you for hot, dirty sex. It was a total mess but we both grew as a result. Thanks for building me back up when I was ready to give it all up. When I’m done here let’s go cuddle in your bed and then go save the world together.