In my opinion, the difference isn’t in the act of committing the AR or who’s more to blame for their actions in starting out doing it, it’s all in the act of stopping and what you do afterwards. Xander stopped because the possession was broken. Spike stopped because he realised what he was doing was wrong. Xander used the possession as a reason to never have to talk about it again or accept that he might have been responsible in any way for it. Spike went out and put in what he felt to be a needed barrier so that it wouldn’t happen again. Both scenes show the argument that…